This is a series of letters I wrote to work through some very personal feelings I had locked away. They were a way for me to process events in my life. You can find out more about this process here. […]
Letters I never sent: Dear Dad (1) Read More »
I think it’s worth pointing out, right at the start, that I am not a qualified therapist or doctor. I am just sharing a method I used, which taught me how to reflect and empathise, or at least gave me
Letters I never sent Read More »
I’ve always loved animals. When I was 5, we lived in this flat over a shop. We couldn’t have a dog or a cat; we wouldn’t have been able to afford to feed them anyway, but Christmas day came, and
1970 – The Great Mouse Murder Read More »
There are things in this blog that my daughters don’t need to read. However, I feel I need to thank them and the wisdom they shared while finding themselves in the world. Because of them, I have found new ways
Sexuality, ED and healing Read More »
Note: Writing this blog or reverse diary makes me realise I’ve never reflected much on what I’ve lived through and usually only through storytelling to others. I’m not writing it in any order, one memory triggers another, but I will
1976 – The Social worker, the Consultant and the Brain Tumour Read More »
As I write this disclaimer, I wonder if I’ll ever click publish on this very personal article, one of the hardest I’ve written. It was the beginning of self-loathing, ultimately leading to isolation, esteem issues and depression later in life.
1977 – Circumcision and Trauma Read More »
Once upon a time, I was in a Beatles tribute band called the Moondog Beatles. During my 4 years in the band, there were a lot of stories to tell, good and bad, but this is by far the most
1998 – Up Around the Mountain – a band story Read More »
I’m not here to judge or advise, I’ve been here and stepped back from it. People often refer to it as being in a dark place in literature. I had a different experience, and I’m sure mine is not unique.
Suicide is not Painless or Cowardly Read More »
When I was 9, Mom managed to get a job cleaning a few hours a night, a couple of nights a week. It was a rare period during her illness when she was doing better, and, of course, the money
1974 – Fire on the 11th Floor Read More »
My mom loved me, I just wanted to state that. I was a difficult kid, hyper, high on coffee, never slept (see coffee) but she was a single mom and with no support. In no way do I condone striking,
1969 – Mom and my first scar Read More »
I was 4 years old and standing by the window in the living room next to the black-and-white TV. I’m pointing at the moon in the sky trying desperately to see the moon lander, squinting and asking my mom why
1969 – The moon landing Read More »
Big things happened when I was 4 years old, things I can’t forget even though the rest is just a blur. It was the year of the moon landing, something that still excites me today, and the year I got
1969 – The break-in Read More »
Not a pretty title, not something I like to be called, but my BMI is still high, so I am Morbidly Obese. However, a lot has changed since I did my first post on this about a year ago (see
Morbidly Obese (Getting Healthy pt 2) Read More »
From the age of 17, I started playing drums, learning by ear as well as I could and became a drummer in a band. There was really nothing else going on at the time in Smethwick; factories were closing, unemployment
Without some internal motivation, you can just go through life reactionary and job-focused, I think this is probably the most unhealthy way to live and why I haven’t taken care of myself at all, always pointless and directionless so here I am at 57 defining myself for the first time.
Trying to get Healthy (Getting Healthy pt 1) Read More »